I don't need any aftershave - never use it,
ankle socks for runners - don't run, don't wear socks in trainers,
books on art, gardening, woodworking,
no more 60's compilation CD's thanks and anyone gives me a 70's compilation I will shoot,
in fact don't try and find me any music or book, you have no idea what I really like,
no stubby holders or bbq aprons with breasts painted on (nor undies with genitalia),
same goes for Tshirts, sweats with logos or funny pics,
No flash drives, usb ports or other usb junk, thank you.
I have had my wallet for 30 yrs thanks, don't need another one yet, will let you know,
cheap socket sets full of 4.5mm and 5/32 and such unusable stuff,
(could always do with some more 12, 13mm and 1/2" though
).I have PLENTY of screwdriver sets and screwdriver bits
and YOU CANT AFFORD the decent oil painting and watercolour brushes I use.
But do not despair!
You can all get together and give me CASH
That's MONEY, coinage, notes, money orders, (NO gift cards) - because I want a Russian Commando knife, a full set of camos, GPS, a canoe, leather jeans and a lot more.
Thank you very much, your loving and grateful friend, father, brother, son, lover, uncle,
jape
. On days like this I like to amuse myself otherwise I would shoot myself (or someone else).
Even a Birth certificate from Wales was not enough 
...
