A Bloke Joke

[looseplucker]

A young Toyota rep is sent to Japan for a conference. He is given a full briefing before he goes – and one of the most important things is to ensure he does NOT mention the names of the competition:

“The Japanese are very proud and loyal to their companies – don’t mention any other company”.

OK, he flies out to Japan and is picked up by some Toyota reps at the airport and they go to lunch. He eats sushi and has a few Sapporo beers.
Then it is off to the first meeting and he is sitting there with his interpreter and the sushi and beers are starting to take effect, in that he is getting the tremendous urge to “pass wind” from the nether portions.

He is mortified and whispers to the interpreter whether it is permissible to leave and explains his predicament.

“Nonononono, is OK to flart, just try to quietly”.

So he maneuvers a bit in the chair and lifts one cheek, but instead of a gentle release it sounds like a horse letting go – even worse – it unmistakably sounds:
“HONDA”.

All heads turn toward him. Silence. He makes apologies and blushes and tries to refocus on the meeting. Another gas ball is brewing. Again he goes for discretion, again it thunders out:

“HONDA”.

Dead silence. He panicks and tries to get up in doing so he sneezes and this one would have won a prize:

“HONDA”.

If looks could kill then your man is dead

. He leaves but not without cracking off a couple more ripsnorters.

“HONDA” he goes “HONDA” all down the hallway.

He reports to his hotel Doctor. The Doc tries everything – stomach powders, enemas, lemonade – nothing. It gets worse.
He tries holding it in, but its agony and then his backside barks “HONDA”.

Of course, he cannot go back to the Toyota conference…he consults another Doctor Then a traditional healer, nothing works and then in desperation he goes to a dentist and explains the problem.

At first the fang farrier is perplexed, he deals in teeth, not rectums. But decides to have a look-see anyway.

In the chair your man gets and opens his mouth.

“HONDA”, goes his backside.

The ivory mechanic pokes around for a bit and then says:

“This hurt?” and prods the lower jaw.

“Owwwwww! HONDA”.

“Ahhhhhhh -so, I see ploblem. Honourable Gentleman has abscess. I fix”, and proceeds to do so. Fifteen minutes later the abscess has been drained and everything is fine.

“Now, prease, honourable Gentleman prease blake wind”.

He does.

“Thplfzzzzzzst!”

Well the young bloke is delighted – he can go back to his conference with honour intact. He asks the dentist how the gum infection would have such an effect.

“Ahhhhhhhh – sooo” says the dentist. “Old Japanese ploverb.........”

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“............abscess make the fart go Honda!”

[Roadie]

Looseplucker
Stick to playing your Bango. Cheers Roadie.

[looseplucker]

Bongo or Banjo?

Hey - what do you get when you cross a roadie with a groupie?

A drummer