WARNING: This humorous story is based on a Religious assumption and can
apply to equaly to Peter Beattie, or Kim Beazly or ( insert here your
favourite politician) any other Party eaders or would be leaders.
One day John Winston Howard is struck by lightning and dies. His soul
arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up." says St. Peter.
"What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then
you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the John.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules", and with that, St. Peter escorts him to
the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he
finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a
clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends, other
politicians, lawyers, judges and bureaucrats who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty
farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with John joining a group of contented souls moving from
cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity." John reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been
delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter
escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the
doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered
with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting
it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't
understand," stammers John. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf
course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and
danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage
and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning...... Today you voted."
John Howard in Heaven...
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Mick Smith
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- Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:09 pm
- Location: Surf Coast Victoria
Very appropriate indeed. 
