one liners

[looseplucker]

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts
and low cut tops....
although, they do make me look a bit gay.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Traveling Circus,
a spokesman said "We'll have to get another man of the same caliber."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick
It's great though. It provides me with everything i need -
KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot.."
-----------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker.
Well... she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife says to her husband
"You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
And he says "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated
but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I went down to the Smith Family to get all of her clothes back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Bent Stick]

[Bill]

[Gringa Bows]