lawyer joke.

[looseplucker]

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder:- 'Could they possibly get married in Heaven?' When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter was somewhat taken aback and said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and then walked back into heaven, closing the gates behind him.
The couple sat and waited, and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. And as they did, they wondered if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it didn't work out? Would they be stuck together forever?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled, harassed and worn out.
“Yes." he sighed. "You can get married in Heaven."
"Great!" exclaimed the couple, "But we were just wondering. What if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, exploded, and slammed his clipboard onto the ground so hard that it shattered into a thousand pieces.
"What's wrong?" quaked the frightened couple.
"Good God”!!! Screamed St. Peter. "It's taken me three sodding millenia to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it would take to find a lawyer?"

[Nephew]

[robmoore]

[quote="looseplucker"]On their way to get married..."quote]

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education than any cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop’s expense. The Glasgow cop says, " Licence and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming."
Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence please"
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye have to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle. The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the bejeepers out of the lawyer and says,
"Dae ye want me to stop - or just slow doon?"

Cheers
Bob

[Nephew]

I REALLY like that one!!!

[Stickbow Hunter]

Jeff